We’re in the middle fo the week and I have to take a pause. Yesterday was an emotional and uncertain day as the world watched the events unfold in Minnesota. Hanging in the air there was a mix of sorrow, sadness, anger, hope, and uncertainty. A whole range of emotions held their breath as people gathered to wait for the verdict to be read.
I have to say that I was more emotional than I expected because of what happened over the past year. Maybe part of the emotions I held throughout my lifetime finally took a long sigh. Growing up in a suburb of Minnesota, I was one of a few children who looked different than my classmates, and most of my community. My parents tried to shield me from events in the news and tried to brace themselves for the day when I encountered hatred but experiencing it is something you can’t put into words.
I’ve met bullies and been called names by people I did and didn’t know. A lot of friends and people I grew up with never had to go through their day asking why they looked different. In fact, the thought of looking different or worrying about being made fun of because of their skin color, never crossed their mind. Some people I know are part of the group who look like everyone else. They never had the experience of people staring at them oddly because they didn’t talk with an foreign accent or looked confused when they introduced their white parents.
In this experience called life, I’ve felt the pressure to “fit in” and I would fail as a bully. So what does a frosted pink cupcake personality do when they meet a bully? Well, it shouldn’t happen but it does. All I can do is give them a big, pint size smile and never be sorry I was born this way.
Anyone who’s “different” carries around this hidden pain and most of the time we don’t talk about it. I had to take a moment. I paused yesterday evening and the verdict was read and my legs skipped a step. My body released some of what I hold in every day, and I cried a little bit for what took place and what I’ve experienced my whole life.
Let’s just remember to be kind to one another as we go about our day.
Follow as I post on my progress throughout the month and share the experience.
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