Still Exploring

In the middle of the night, my mind woke up and I let myself pour out all the thoughts that accumulated onto the white pages of my journal with no lines. Sometimes my thoughts come out in sketches, stickers, and written word and I let it happen.

Over the past year, I’ve given my inner explorer more freedom. Sometimes I’ve wondered if it’s a good thing or a distraction but I’m still going to let it happen. Growth doesn’t come without traveling outside the lines. Maybe that’s why I chose to journal in a book without lines.

Despite the fact that I still need to make things to bring to art shows and my urge to go out and explore may pop up at inconvenient times, I’m not going to stop it. Instead, I’m going to stop and listen. This might be the way my brain has been telling me to stop and give it a break.

Exploring might be a way to give those folds of gray matter some oxygen. Maybe I need to do it more if I’m not able to focus because I never have this problem when I’m feeling inspired. No, in times of inspiration there’s a rush to get the idea out on paper or in clay. There’s an extreme amount of focus that gets upset when there’s an interruption. It’s like someone walking in on me crying when I’m writing an intense scene for my characters. Or, like just now, when I thought I saw a creep crawly run across the floor and now I can’t find my pen.

So now, when I can’t sleep and wake up in the middle of the night, I’m into mapping and Pinterest pinning. I created guides to track all the places and things I find interesting with no filter. I pin whatever my mind likes and it’s tends to be more imaginative when everyone else is asleep. I let loose and take seconds to pin whatever catches my attention and would like to visit. I noticed that big windows and open spaces for writing tend to end up in my guides with drool worthy food.

If it made my stomach growl in the middle of the night, then it’s worthy of a pin. If I pictured myself sitting at one of the tables with my journal, then it gets pinned. No matter the number, I kept going. I didn’t care if I couldn’t make it to all the places in one lifetime, I still pinned the thing that sparked excitement in my brain.

Last night, I must have pinned several new places to visit that involved food and good lighting. I went from cafes with yummy looking food to second hand art supplies stores that looked weird. I’m into weird and interesting places these days.

Practicing my own prompts, I’m was on the hunt for places that will inspire another flood onto the pages in any form. The trick is to let my journey happen and to stop trying to control it. After my change in lifestyle, letting things happen naturally has been a challenge. Meaning, I realized that I need to enjoy my journey and not give it a timeline.

Undoing years of high cortisol takes time. I can’t expect it to happen in one day, or one week, when I let it build for decades. My advice, stop letting those outside voices that aren’t you, punish yourself. Like cats, we humans need praise. Don’t let yourself go down the spiral or saying things, like I’m not good at math. You just weren’t taught in a way that made learning it easier. What am I getting at?

It’s too easy to speak negatively to ourselves, a give into excuses that block us from continuing on our journey. We just need to find a way that works for us.

Just open up your YouTube feed or look at the book shelves in a store. There’s an endless amount of possibilities and an endless ways to do things. Yes, it might feel like a distraction or a shiny object but just sit quietly and listen. Possibilities are good because it allows you to find the idea that will create the spark that moves you in the right direction. It will bring you closer to what works for you.

Adulting is about answering the same questions we had as children. Why are we here and what do I want to be when I grow up? No one else can live your journey for you, even if they step in your shoes. Besides, they won’t do as good of a job as you will. We’re meant to find our own journey and what works for us.

So go out and explore this week. Let your journey happen and stop trying to control it. Until next time!

Imagine Inspire Create: 52 Weeks of action and gratitude is available at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09S6XCLFY/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_Q7MHM9CFBSASDG56YMJQ

Get closer to your writing goals with my Writer’s Journal filled with writing prompts and exercises. You can find a copy at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0931QRL7C/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_VTHN0QSHXRYK6RJ1XSWQ.